Were you ever once a kid? I was. I know because I remember it. When I was a kid, there was a lot of mystery and magic in the world, and the list of things that were flat-out awesome was quite long. One of them was the Nestle Crunch Bar. It was a thin bar of chocolate imprinted with often amazing designs (even the standard “Crunch” logo was awesome), and filled with crisp rice and wonder. Sure, you could get other candy bars that had crisp rice in them, but nothing was quite like tearing open that thin foil wrapper, seeing that imprinted logo, and biting into pure, crunchy, chocolatey awesomeness.
Have you had one lately? They’re not as fun; the foil has been replaced with the standard plastic wrapper, and there’s something that’s changed in the flavor. The chocolate doesn’t taste right anymore . . . at least I think that’s what it is. It’s almost as if they started making Crunch like the candy bars you had to sell for school fund raising in 2nd grade. Sure, those were tasty, too, but they were no CRUNCH bar. Now . . . it seems they may be.
Isn’t adulthood difficult enough? Aren’t jerks like Michael Bay destroying our childhood memories enough? Aren’t things only going to get tougher? So why can’t a Crunch bar taste now like a Crunch bar did then? When my dad told me “life isn’t fair,” he wasn’t kidding.