ONE STAR!!!!

Aquire Medical Degree before attempting to use this product.

So very recently I needed to know what the price was on Debrox.  What is that, you ask?  Well . . . it’s for clearing out your ears if you have earwax problems.  Yes, I need it sometimes.  So I went to Amazon to get an idea of a normal price and saw that there were some negative reviews.  This intrigued me, since my experience with this product over the last five or six years has been exemplary.  What could someone possibly have bad to say about this stuff?  You lie on your side, put a few drops in your ear, enjoy the dizzy feeling as you feel it working on the earwax the way hydrogen peroxide does on an infection, then you let it drain and you flush it out and you’re all good!  Well, this is the review that I read that gave the product one star:

DOESN’T WORK AS ADVERTISED

Sounds so simple, apply drops twice a day and your ear wax is gone.
The first thing I noticed is that the drops don’t come out easily at all, they seem to stick to your ear. I had to flush with water to get it out.
Also, after each application my hearing got worse, not a single bit of wax came out and I have an annoying ring now. Time to see a doctor.

I crack up every time I read this.  First of all, the usage directions are a bit more complex than “apply drops twice a day.”  It doesn’t magically make wax disappear with a cute little “POOF!”  Second, the instructions say that you need to flush your ears with water to get excess wax out.  Third, it’s quite obvious that he wasn’t getting it all out and kept adding it in and adding it in.  Well anyway . . . I can go on and on about all that this doofus did wrong with using it, but what’s funnier is to imagine his difficulty with other products available out there.  Let’s use our imaginations and see what that would be like . . .

ONE STAR!!  The Excedrin didn’t fix my headache at all!  I keep putting them in my mouth but I’m not getting any better!  I’m going to spit them out after I finish writing this.  They taste AWFUL!

ONE STAR!!  I bought this FOOT CREAM, and it won’t work unless I put it on my FEET!

The inhaler I bought didn’t cure my asthma!  It didn’t even help me until I PUFFED ON IT! ONE STAR!!!!

That new book I just bought, it didn’t tell me the story until I READ IT. ONE STAR!

ONE STAR!  I bought this Windex, and it didn’t clean any of my windows or my mirror!  I finally gave up and wiped it off with a paper towel!  I’ll never use this stuff again!

I got this motor oil for my car and I couldn’t get it all in the engine!  I had to actually DRAIN SOME OF THE OLD OIL to get it all to fit!  ONE STAR!

I used this shampoo and it left my hair all sudsy!  I kept using it, but I only kept getting more suds!  I eventually had to rinse it out!  ONE STAR!

Wow . . . the world must be a really challenging place for this guy.
_________
props to Erik for the help on this one.

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One response to “ONE STAR!!!!

  1. That is totally hilarious….thanks for cracking me up!

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