Fat Guy Bling

On Monday I went in to work.  Please, no pity; it was voluntary.  Plus that’s not why I’m writing.  So I was standing at the park & ride for a really long time because I didn’t check the holiday bus schedule.  On one hand, I could have saved myself standing outside in 50-degree September Seattle weather for 45 minutes; on the other hand, I would have missed one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen in my life.

A guy getting off of a bus.  A big guy.  Like 350 pounds.

Yeah.  About like that.  But that’s no big deal, right?  We live in America.  We have shows like Maury and The Biggest Loser.  Well . . . it was what I noticed around his neck.  He was wearing an industrial-strength chain.  Not the kind that you buy at Hot Topic or the leatherdaddy store, mind you.  I mean the kind on the rollers at Lowe’s.

Yup.  The links were between 1-1.5″ long.  But it wasn’t just a hardcore necklace for a big guy.  No sir.  He had a unique charm zip-tied to it . . .

A glazed, old-fashioned style donut.  I don’t know if it was real . . . but it looked exactly like the one in that picture.

I can promise you that this necklace was not professionally made–it was clearly put together in about three minutes or less.  What could he possibly be saying with such an accessory?  Would it be what the thin cynic would assume?–that he has to keep one on hand at all times, but it would get smashed in his pocket?  Is it some form of humor?–that he’s acknowledging that he’s fat so he cracks a joke by hanging a donut around his neck?  Did he lose a bet?  Does the donut represent something?–like a lost love?  I’ll never know.

The further I go into my week, the more baffled by it I become.  When I saw it, I was tired and cold and annoyed, so I gave it a cocked eyebrow and went back to pacing between benches, but now I find myself in a whirling state of confusion mixed with a really strong desire for a donut.

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One response to “Fat Guy Bling

  1. I think he was storeing it, in case he felt hungry he would just whipp it off his neck and devavour it 😀 What a time saver! =P

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