I’m 30 today. I scheduled this post to publish at 4:05 p.m. CDT so that it’s 100% official before anyone reads it. The fact that this day was coming has thoroughly freaked me out for the last 365 days, but now that it’s here, I’m very excited. I have 10 whole years ahead of me to call “my thirties,” and as of this moment they’re all unwritten. As Joe Dirt says, “life is a garden; dig it.”
I’ve done some thinking on what would be the best way to do a 30th birthday post. After a lot of back and forth, I have settled on one that doesn’t get too boring (to me), doesn’t get too long, and is just self-indulgent enough. Now, without further ado, I present . . .
30 Useless Facts About Braden!
- My right thumb’s lunula has had a notch in it since I smashed it in a door 16 years ago.
- I’ve tried pot once. One hit. Age 14. Behind the bowling alley. Strike n’ Spare East, if you know the place. Never tried it again.
- I was born with my right foot smashed against my shin, and had to wear a cast for the first few weeks of my life.
- I got my first F in 4th grade English.
- I got straight A’s for my third quarter of 8th grade, then got all A’s and a C for the fourth. The C was in math.
- I had my first cigarette in summer 1993.
- I had my last cigarette in winter 2003.
- When I was a freshmen in high school, I got in-house suspension for one day for smoking on school grounds.
- My 13th birthday present was an old electric typewriter.
- I’ve never cared for The Thundercats.
- Among my most prized possessions at age 5 was my red, zipper-covered, Michael Jackson-style jacket.
- I shamelessly watched cartoons until I was 11 years old.
- I shamefully watched cartoons from age 12 to 14.
- I was arrested in January 1998 at the Wal-Mart in Sullivan, Missouri for shoplifting. Except I wasn’t actually shoplifting.
- By my best estimates, I have played the first Final Fantasy all the way through at least 20 times.
- I’ve lived in 14 different buildings.
- Few things fascinate me more than the passage of time. This is much to my wife’s annoyance.
- The first song I ever learned to play on guitar was “The Sound of Silence.”
- The boldest thing I ever did in school was in 7th grade when I dumped purple juice over the head of some kid that purposely got ketchup on my white cake at lunch. “I like my white cake,” I told him after I poured.
- I’ve had 13 roommates. I’d still drop almost anything to hang out with 12 of them.
- I cheated on an algebra final my senior year of high school.
- My first wearable facial hair was my sideburns.
- I clearly remember thinking half-way through Kindergarten, “Man, I sure had it good before I started school!”
- I’ve never dyed my hair; I never will.
- I don’t have a guilty pleasure because I’m never ashamed to admit I like something.
- My favorite characters in stories are usually the wise old men.
- With the exception of some western that I saw with my dad around age 4 or so, the first movie I saw in the theater was Honey I Shrunk The Kids. The trailers were for Milo & Otis and Dick Tracy.
- The first comic book I ever owned as Ghost Rider #24.
- I had a 9 o’clock bedtime until I graduated high school.
- After my parents took away my punk rock CD’s when I was 16, I would sneak into their room when they weren’t home, take them back, and dub them to tape.
Well that was fun. Now . . . on to my 30’s!