So this is my 100th post. It only took me two and a half years to get here. Though my frequent and very long hiatuses may seem to demonstrate otherwise, I really like my blog, and I hope to keep it going (regularly) for a long time.
In honor of this momentous occasion, I’ve decided to do the blog-equivalent of a clip show-meets-DVD commentary and take a quick look back at some of my posts from what I consider my “First Era,” or rather the time on my blog from the start up to when I got married (that being early 2008 to September 2008). There are some posts that crack me up, some I wish I could re-do (but won’t out of principle), and some that . . . well, I’m not sure. I’m excited!
“Voices of the Masses,” February 1, 2008. The first thing I learned about my writing when I started this blog is that I’m really long-winded. I’m actually grateful to my friends who pointed it out, because I prefer to become more aware of my flaws in order to be a better person. Believe me, if I didn’t do that, there would have been six or seven paragraphs for each of those ten commandments on Wednesday. Anyway, regarding this post . . . bumper stickers still get me. I actually saw one this last weekend at Rialto Beach when I was touring the Olympic Peninsula with my wife. It had a crude drawing of the classic stork-with-baby on it and said, “Six Billion Little Miracles are Enough.” Ugh. Child-free in the sense of “I just don’t want kids” is one thing; child-free in the sense of “everyone needs to stop reproducing” (or breeding, as they often call it) is something else entirely. I might end up doing a “Voices of the Masses II” at some point, because many more of these passive-aggressive road messages need to be addressed. It will be considerably shorter, though. If it happens.
“Humbert Will Be Proud,” February 11, 2008. Here’s some fun trivia. That entire post was written so I could make a quiet joke about naming my future son “Humbert.” Lame, you say? On the contrary; my humor is 98% for me, and I think that’s hilarious. For some reason, though, Dona doesn’t take me serious when I discuss that name with her.
“Obligatory Valentine’s Day Post,” February 14, 2008. I’m happy to report that, like me, my wife doesn’t care for the whole Valentines Day thing; nor does she play that, “Oh we don’t need to do anything that day,” and then secretly hope we do, game, either. She’s awesome.
“It Will Run Its Course, Thank You Very Much,” March 3, 2008. I originally meant this to be a statement against the idea of going to a doctor every time something seems out of whack with your body, because it will usually be okay in a little while. But this has become my most-viewed post. Why? Because salivary gland stones are relatively common, and peoples notz be knowin whatz goin on wit dem! Let me put the message out there again, because I love to help: unless the saliva duct has been blocked for hours with no signs of getting better, save the co-pay and go buy a couple CD’s instead. I recommend Moving Mountains or Fang Island.
“Something,” March 18, 2008. First, I want to submit that perhaps this post you’re reading doesn’t count as my 100th post since I have a few posts like this one. And now that I’ve said “poo on that, it counts,” I’m mentioning this short one because my future wife commented on it, even though she didn’t/doesn’t care for the idea of blogs. Also the way she did her name is really funny to me, but you’d have to know her like I do to really appreciate it.
“Braden vs. Jeff the Car Salesman,” April 2, 2008. This is one of my favorite stories from my life. It can be because I was victorious. I’ve since edited and reposted it since I did leave out some important details from that day, and I’ve also linked it to a review I did of that dealership on Yelp. If you’re heading out to buy a car, I’d recommend reading that whole thing to make sure you’re fully prepared for what you’ll face. Oh, and while you’re at Yelp, check out my review on Moore’s Auto Body. Sure, it’s shame on me because they fooled me twice, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re crooks.
“Braden Knows This Stuff,” April 10 and 11, 2008. I want to reiterate that I did these two whole posts without looking up a single question (I only looked up spellings of names, etc.). And there’s tons more useless trivia like that bouncing around in my head. I did a trivia game for my New Year’s party this last New Year and I thought I slimmed down the difficulty and obscurity, but apparently I didn’t do so well. I swear I can’t help it! Anyway, those two posts are probably still the most fun I’ve had writing this blog. I need to do that more.
“Clue Me In, Excercise Caution But Tell Me Again . . .,” April 12, 2008. Seriously, people. Have you ever thought about that? It’s blowing my mind.
“Stories from the Red Bow Tie,” May 7, 2008. After so many hours in that place, I’m surprised I haven’t had more stories pouring out of my brain than I have. Well, there’s the one about the server who was a late-30’s guy and had worked there for a long time. He and I clashed a lot but still had a decent-enough, in-work respect for each other. Or at least I had that for him. On occasion we’d be cleaning some tables and he’d say something like, “I love you, Braden.” Now, I’m the guy that took over a decade to get the “French Class” joke from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, so I thought nothing of that comment other than what I said in return: “Thanks, [other guy server], I love you too!” It was a good friend moment. Weeks before I left Carbondale for Seattle, I learned that he was gay. Kind of sours those memories a little.
“Ten Years and Counting,” May 8, 2008. One girl with whom I was an acquaintance in high school commented on that reunion site that she knew that wasn’t me in that picture. I asked how sure she was. She said about 98%.
“Chapters are Sorted by Album,” June 5, 2008. Read what I said about Frengers by Mew. I asked out my then-future wife three days later, was engaged less than a month later, and was married just over three months later. Now, for it to be even more prophetic, the album would not have been Frengers, but instead Re-Arrange Us by Mates of State, but I didn’t have that album until the night I asked her out.
“The Care Bears Movie II Analogy,” June 7, 2008. I still think this analogy is accurate. Satan’s not trying to get us to wave wands around, he’s trying to get us to rely on ourselves and not trust God. Also, this post was the first of two times so far that I’ve annoyed family members with something I wrote because they remember it differently than I do. Well, for the record, I’m remembering just fine.
“I’ve Missed You! It Won’t Be Much Longer!” September 11, 2008. So it took a lot longer than I thought it would, but I’m back! With bells on! Leave me a comment. I’m lonely.
Well, I hope that was as fun for my four readers as it was for me. Now back to work . . .